What are you hiding from? The LIE of FEAR

I was prompted to write while scrolling through social media this morning and reading yet another story of a sweet mother loosing her precious baby.  A few weeks ago, the social community of The Influence Network rallied around a woman named Diana who was fighting to keep her precious son....she had already lost two other children.  No words to speak.  She lost her precious Kaden here on this earth, her third baby to go see Jesus before her.  Now I scroll through another community of online bloggers and another child suddenly torn from her Mother's arms as a young newborn.  This has happened to one of my best friends, we all held sweet Jeremy after his spirit had gone to be with Jesus, we came alongside our friend as she sat through the funeral, watched her experience even more pain trying to create their family after loosing sweet Jeremy, however, it was followed by a God ordained adoption and a healthy pregnancy.  So many emotions to travel over the course of time and now we get to sit in the "happy ending" of it all.  BUT what about the darkness, what about traveling the thick of it, what about the FEARS, what about the emotions that remain from all the hard stuff?  

This morning in Daniel through She Reads Truth we discussed King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream and Daniel's interpretation of it....the writer from She Reads Truth then asked......

"What mysteries are troubling you today? What images have frightened you to the core? What question would you give anything to have answered right now?

God may not spell out the answers for us the way He did for the king through Daniel that day, but He does invite us to seek Him. He does invite us to ask Him for wisdom and mercy, and He delights to give it. The answers may not look the way we’d hoped, or they may not be clear at all. The unsolvable may not be solved after one prayer or thousands. But we know the One who is the revealer of mysteries, and we know that He is for us. Nothing, not even the darkest mysteries, can separate us from His love." (excerpt from SheReadsTruth)

So what are we afraid of?  What is troubling you today?  What are you SO frightened about?  Sweet sister, I know this feeling too.  I can't write and give you any promises of what is going to be of your situation.  We don't know how Diana or Katy's story will turn out...BUT we must choose to believe the above stated to be true about our GOD.  Ephesians 1:9 (NASB) states " He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him"  Did you notice the word KIND intention.  The TRUTH is that God's will is according to his KIND intention.  We MUST believe this to be true...... if not, aren't we claiming that we don't believe in God's ability, power, or sovereignty?

As we look through the lens of this world, as we look through the lens of pain at death and despair and things that simply aren't FAIR....we must believe ladies...I'm begging you to believe with me...that Romans 8:28 is TRUE, that Ephesians 1:9 is true, that Jeremiah 29:11.  We need to rally around these truths!

What is your fear?  What are you hiding from? ...BELIEVE that his word is TRUE, that his intention is KIND.  Lay your FEAR down that is your darkest nightmare and TRUST that GOD is who he says he is.  We MUST believe that the light can overtake even THIS darkness.

Praying with you and for you today....

Nicole

Be Sure to check out our designs at Two Little Fish and see how you can help us             Put Poverty to Bed

Are you a Prisoner?

I am really enjoying getting back into a routine with ALL, yes ALL (tears) the kids in school.  In the mornings, I am spending my quite time with two groups of ladies.

Hello Mornings

& She Reads Truth

I really love them both for different reasons...if you want to get plugged in to one of these groups and have questions, comment and I will do my best to direct you.

So, this morning in HelloMornings, we were reading about Paul and his attitude about being in prison and the following passage really struck me to the core. In Ephesians 4:1, Paul states "As a prisoner FOR the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."  So I started thinking, what is the difference between being a prisoner OF something versus a prisoner FOR something or someone?  I think the difference is profound.

I am a PRISONER OF

 - Disbelief, I know my God is big enough and able to do all the things that we read about in the Bible, but I am chained to my disbelief that he might actually do something like this for me.

- Fear, Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with fear that I actually cease to function, I hide under my covers as if they will somehow makes my circumstances change around me.

- Prayerlessness, I realized just last night that I struggle with prayerlessness in certain areas where I am afraid to be vulnerable...what if I pray my heart out for this and ask all those to come along side me and his answer is NO, can I handle that, can I open my heart up enough to pray fervently and get an answer that I don't like? Honestly, the current state of my heart is resisting this....so I don't bring my request to many to sound the trumpets.

-Negativity, For some reason I am wired to see and feel the negative sometimes more strongly than all the positive around me.  God can give me a gift, but the wrapping has been slightly damaged and all I can focus on is the damage, rather than the gift that came with it.  I have to be diligent in overcoming this with gratitude lists and my sweet husband :)  He is Mary Poppins (yet handsome without the umbrella and huge purse :)....and God formed this union on purpose...yes he has his days of seeing the negative around is, but for the most part his life story has shaped him to focus on the glory around us and the positive.  I love you Stephen.

-Circumstance, I really have a hard time sitting in my circumstances that seem to be uncomfortable.  I like to run...like literally run away.  I run to go out to eat, go see my friends, drive to the city that makes me comfortable...run, run, run, run, run  to anything that gives me a glimmer of peace and comfort rather than sitting in the circumstance that God has asked me to.

When we are a prisoner OF something...we are letting that thought pattern or addictive behavior WIN, we are actually choosing the path of defeat. These things chain us to a life of constant worry and self doubt, never embracing the present and trusting that God can set us free and loves us enough to do so.

Paul stated that he was a prisoner FOR the Lord.  What an interesting shift, he was choosing to be held captive.  He lived every day under the authority and rule of the Lord without breaking free as a CHOICE to serve him.  He controlled this...in turn allowing God to freely work in his life and point him in the direction of God's will.  He also did this without grumbling..when we are a prisoner OF something..we grumble and shake... trying to get away from it, but being a prisoner FOR something, we walk boldly into our chains each day and carry them with great purpose and freedom as we are choosing to trust our warden.

Do you trust your warden?  The God who promises to direct our steps together for good?

Today will you join with me in overcoming being a prisoner of and walk proudly as a prisoner FOR the one and only true God.

Much Love,
Nicole

There's something I need to tell you......

There's something I need to tell you......

It's not very common and goes against main stream....

Many people wonder why I do it?

I work for FREE.  

Yup, I said it...FREE.  

And the women who have come along side me to help?  FREE.

Counter cultural, isn't it?  But isn't it cool!  You may be assuming that I work for free because my husband makes a ton of money..right?  But no, we have six kids, all in private school which makes us very far from rich, this whole week we will be cleaning out the pantry because we have to wait until payday to go to the grocery again. Really not kidding. 

I struggled a little with telling you all this...not because I am ashamed of this at all, in fact I couldn't see it any other way, but because I don't want it to come off prideful.  I don't want the glory to pointed at me.  Because it's not at all about me, it's about HIM.  It's simply what he has asked of me. 

This is what God has whispered to me, he has called me to use my gifts and time now as a mom with ALL of her kids in school to give more to others....the women who hand batik our fabric in Africa at Global Mamas

And the children in South Africa who have lost loved ones due to AIDS/HIV

How does this whole process work?

1. Your Two Little Fish item contains some Ghanian fabric which has been purchased straight from the village women in Ghana, Africa. This gives them sustainable income.

2. You will be sending a mattress to an AIDS orphan in South Africa through Horizon International with the purchase of a bedding set.
 
3. The rest of the profit from the set you have bought will be put BACK into local and global organizations that help Put Poverty To Bed! It's really THAT cool.

Feel good about the products you spend your money on. 100% purpose, 100% handmade in the USA.

Why am I telling you all this?  Because I think you should know our heart...we promote Two Little Fish to look outside ourselves, we promote Two Little Fish in hopes that we CAN change the way we invest in products.  We CAN be a country that produces a product as a Non-Profit organization.  

Will you help us?  There are SO many out there who want to help globally and locally, but they don't know how...Two Little Fish gives them a way to use everyday purchases to do just this.....not through a company that gives some of their profit away, but through a Non-Profit organization that gives 100% of their profit away.  Will you share with your friends and help us spread the word?

Hugs,

Nicole

It's a NEW day.......

Well...it's here.  The first day of school, but this year is a little different than most.  My baby is now a first grader.  The days of pick-ups, pull-ups and play-dates have passed.  I used to process these things way in advance and really be in the moment......the past few years I think that I have had to process so much change that I now don't really allow myself to sit in it, until that very moment that it just hurts.  I will usually then spend 5-10 crying my eyes out with the Lord and then move forward.  But I wish this wasn't so.  I wish life didn't hurt so bad...we want, we get and then we are overwhelmed....we want, we don't get and then we are mad.  Human emotions stink.  Truth is.....I'm not ready for this part of my life to be over.  There was so much energy wasted while my kids were little, a lot of pain and a lot of uncertainty.  It doesn't seem fair.  As humans we want to think that our cross is heavier than everyone else's, but I know this isn't true.  I see people all around me and read about women who carry much heavier crosses than I do.  In moments like that I turn my eyes up to the Lord and say thank you that you didn't choose that cross for me.  Why are some people's lives riddled with death and disappointment and others who may never experience this extreme?  I don't know.  But what I DO know it that there is a NEW day in CHRIST.

We get to CHOOSE.  Romans 8: 5-6 "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace."  Don't choose the human emotions that are governed by the flesh. The enemy looks to kill, steal and destroy and people typically that is our THOUGHT life.  Don't just look at these words literally....he wants to kill our self-worth, steal our joy and destroy our families through us CHOOSING each day to live in his lies of defeat.  In the lie that my days of play-dates and diaper changes are over and that I won't experience that much joy again with the goofiness of little kids...it's just not true.  Our God is a God of relationships and he blesses them as they grow and that takes time...which in turn brings about change.  I will have another day of play-dates and diaper changes...I may be a 60 year old grandma or it may just be reliving the joy of my children's youth through videos.  Either way, I'm going to choose to see God's promises.  My life verse is Romans 8:28 "And God will bring ALL things together for the GOOD of those who love God"  We can't see the big picture, we are looking at the back of the tapestry; huge knots and splattered colors.  But God sees the front, a beautiful woven picture of all the pieces and broken threads of our life.  He PROMISES that he will work each thing out for the GOOD of those who love him.  So the question to ask is not "Is God good?"...the questions to ask is "Do you love him?  Do you trust him, Do you somehow believe that through death, divorce, loss of a child, that he sees the tapestry he is making and he wants to turn the knot into something beautiful.

I'm going to choose to trust him today and rest in the NEW day he has created for me.

Bonding through service

 Wouldn't it be ideal if our work, service and family time could somehow intertwine?  We just had that blessed moment!! :)  The kids have no homework and are restless cause it's the last week of school, Mommy really needed to get a sample Two Little Fish bumper set made.  I asked my son Braeden if he wanted to come have some special time with me and help me...he resounded yes, as well as the other three kids standing there!  Ahh, what to do now.  Well, I decided they could each have a turn helping me and spending some alone time with me...how that was going to be fruitful, I had yet to figure out...ha ha ha, but GUESS WHAT??  They did GREAT.  We got an entire bumper set cut out while they each learned how to trace and cut.  Aren't they cute.....

 Lexie Bear

 Braeden making a very concentrated face...

 Avery doing a GREAT job with the rotary cutter!

 Malena beana

AND the final cut...it's our Crushing on Coral Set......coming soon!

Change

Wind, weather, relationships, age, trends, strength, health.......all these things change on a daily basis.  They are evolving, ending, and changing.  So why then does change typically rock most of us to the core?  For me, I think it's that inner hunger to want something stable, something predictable.  The world makes us feel as if that is simply unattainable, but for those who follow Christ, we know and believe there is a better ending.  This last week has been fabulous as the weather has changed.  It is now warm and windy and simply perfect to sit outside and enjoy the day, the air...the allergies...ha ha.  I've been just sitting a lot recently and watching my children.  I love to see them laugh and watch them play...it's strange though that watching them in the present tense at times evokes happy feelings and others feelings of loss.  They are getting so big, they are playing without me right by their side, our life is so much different than it was before.

My husband and I have a blended family, I was divorced with two small children and married a widower with four children.  In the meshing of these two worlds...there was a WHOLE lotta change :)  We changed cities, we changed houses, we changed families, we changed churches and at the end of all that there were days we simply didn't want to change our clothes...cause we were SICK of that word!  But you know what, two hard but fruitful years later, we are stable and happy.  I talked with my son the other night about just this change, he was struggling with the hard parts of it....but at the same time we talked through our hurts and struggles and we were able to share about our joys that came from this change....What God has given us through this change, it IS pretty amazing.  My children love their "adopted" brothers and sisters, each one has such a special personality and blessing that they bring to our family.  Gavin, our 15 yr old son, is helping to coach my sons 7/8 Baseball team and Braeden just LOVES it.  It is such a blessing for him to have a big brother.  Emma is our 12 yr old daughter that is basically 16.  I just love her fun personality and the fact that I have someone, besides Steve, to ask about my outfit or hair.  It really is amazing that Emma didn't come from my womb because she is JUST LIKE ME!  God definitely thought this was a funny one.  I know what that girl is thinking before she even opens her mouth.  Emma is also such a great big sister, all of the little ones just love getting alone time with her.  Avery, our 10 yr old daughter, is hilariously 10 right now.  You know that screeching, oh my gawsh phase of life :)  She has a very compassionate heart.  She cares about others feelings and when she has a chance to lead all the little ones (when Emma is away:), she is very genuine in her love for them, which is a gift.  Malena is one of the three amigos, she is 7.  If Lexie ever gets hurt...which is quite often (Steve calls her Splat :) )  before I have even finished hugging her, malena is there with an ice pack.  She really evens out the dynamic between my two little ones and unites our family between the age gaps.


So why am I telling you all this?  To give you some hope if your experiencing the hard part of change.  I was there, it was ugly.  But you know what, God knows best, he really does...even when it all looks black and dark, as long as you are seeking him to follow HIS direction, don't fret.  I do still miss my friends and the city that I called home, but without the move, I wouldn't have met all the amazing friends I now have today and the wonderful women who have been instrumental in helping me sustain Two Little Fish, Paige Heitzman and Jess Snell.  Actually, without the move, Two Little Fish most likely would not exist.  It was God's pushing me to change that settled all six of our kids at a private Christian school here named Faith, that we LOVE.  My children are now set apart, not because we pay for school, but because they live and breathe God's word daily....they look different when they go out into the world and I love that and you know what?  They do to!

Many people will come in and out of your live, maybe you will pass through many cities, your children will grow up and the baby stage does end.  What will you be left with?  Is the man/woman that you committed your life to your very first priority under God or when the children leave will there be a stranger in your home?  What will your children see is permanent to you?  My hope is that they see that God is my ONLY permanence and that humans are flawed, including their parents and friends, and they truly know how to run to God when change rocks their core and trust that HIS change is a molding power that will etch out a creation beyond our imagination.

Love you guys!
Nicole

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