Change

Wind, weather, relationships, age, trends, strength, health.......all these things change on a daily basis.  They are evolving, ending, and changing.  So why then does change typically rock most of us to the core?  For me, I think it's that inner hunger to want something stable, something predictable.  The world makes us feel as if that is simply unattainable, but for those who follow Christ, we know and believe there is a better ending.  This last week has been fabulous as the weather has changed.  It is now warm and windy and simply perfect to sit outside and enjoy the day, the air...the allergies...ha ha.  I've been just sitting a lot recently and watching my children.  I love to see them laugh and watch them play...it's strange though that watching them in the present tense at times evokes happy feelings and others feelings of loss.  They are getting so big, they are playing without me right by their side, our life is so much different than it was before.

My husband and I have a blended family, I was divorced with two small children and married a widower with four children.  In the meshing of these two worlds...there was a WHOLE lotta change :)  We changed cities, we changed houses, we changed families, we changed churches and at the end of all that there were days we simply didn't want to change our clothes...cause we were SICK of that word!  But you know what, two hard but fruitful years later, we are stable and happy.  I talked with my son the other night about just this change, he was struggling with the hard parts of it....but at the same time we talked through our hurts and struggles and we were able to share about our joys that came from this change....What God has given us through this change, it IS pretty amazing.  My children love their "adopted" brothers and sisters, each one has such a special personality and blessing that they bring to our family.  Gavin, our 15 yr old son, is helping to coach my sons 7/8 Baseball team and Braeden just LOVES it.  It is such a blessing for him to have a big brother.  Emma is our 12 yr old daughter that is basically 16.  I just love her fun personality and the fact that I have someone, besides Steve, to ask about my outfit or hair.  It really is amazing that Emma didn't come from my womb because she is JUST LIKE ME!  God definitely thought this was a funny one.  I know what that girl is thinking before she even opens her mouth.  Emma is also such a great big sister, all of the little ones just love getting alone time with her.  Avery, our 10 yr old daughter, is hilariously 10 right now.  You know that screeching, oh my gawsh phase of life :)  She has a very compassionate heart.  She cares about others feelings and when she has a chance to lead all the little ones (when Emma is away:), she is very genuine in her love for them, which is a gift.  Malena is one of the three amigos, she is 7.  If Lexie ever gets hurt...which is quite often (Steve calls her Splat :) )  before I have even finished hugging her, malena is there with an ice pack.  She really evens out the dynamic between my two little ones and unites our family between the age gaps.


So why am I telling you all this?  To give you some hope if your experiencing the hard part of change.  I was there, it was ugly.  But you know what, God knows best, he really does...even when it all looks black and dark, as long as you are seeking him to follow HIS direction, don't fret.  I do still miss my friends and the city that I called home, but without the move, I wouldn't have met all the amazing friends I now have today and the wonderful women who have been instrumental in helping me sustain Two Little Fish, Paige Heitzman and Jess Snell.  Actually, without the move, Two Little Fish most likely would not exist.  It was God's pushing me to change that settled all six of our kids at a private Christian school here named Faith, that we LOVE.  My children are now set apart, not because we pay for school, but because they live and breathe God's word daily....they look different when they go out into the world and I love that and you know what?  They do to!

Many people will come in and out of your live, maybe you will pass through many cities, your children will grow up and the baby stage does end.  What will you be left with?  Is the man/woman that you committed your life to your very first priority under God or when the children leave will there be a stranger in your home?  What will your children see is permanent to you?  My hope is that they see that God is my ONLY permanence and that humans are flawed, including their parents and friends, and they truly know how to run to God when change rocks their core and trust that HIS change is a molding power that will etch out a creation beyond our imagination.

Love you guys!
Nicole