"Just keep swimming"

Whether your joyful, struggling, or simply lukewarm....My hope is this post will encourage you.  I have felt like a floundering fish...for about the last year and a half.  A fish that is being fed by the water and swimming amongst friends, then randomly tossed into the air, alone for a while, wondering how will I breath??, will I make it back into the water??, then with a splash...feel the warm water hug me once again to return to the safety of the water and swim my little fins off to catch up to the comfortable school  I was swimming with before.  The problem with this scenario is that I am never settled.  When I am in the warm water swimming amongst the school, I am sad that I can't stay there, when I am tossed in the air, I am anxious as to how will I breathe?  Maybe a hard illustration to follow...but I keep seeing nemo..fluttering and dori right there saying.."just keep swimming...just keep swimming" :)

Two Little Fish, that is the name that God gave for this ministry.  A name derived from the gospels and the feeding of the five thousand, all because one little boy was willing to sacrifice everything he had.  It seems like an easy story and when we hear the stories of others, we so easily read quickly through and say "wow", but what about when we are called to sacrifice?  I feel kinda silly even comparing my situation to a sacrifice of everything we have because very few of us have been called to that level, but we have all experienced sacrifice.  What do we do when God calls us to a life or a season that requires great sacrifice of what makes us comfortable?

For me, it was the sacrifice of a dream, of a life that felt good.  I so often get upset with myself as I feel like the Israelite's....grumbling and complaining about all the things I miss about Egypt....well yeah, I was in slavery, but I had so much comfort surrounding me. To give a quick overview, for those who may not know my story, I was in a marriage that ended in divorce, yet during that time I was surrounded by an amazing church and friends who were like family.  I had sisters and brothers in Christ who lifted me up everyday, the blessing of two small children, and the ability to stay at home with them. After the divorce, God provided a miracle in my life of an amazing God filled man, which required my family be moved to Lafayette.  New friends, new church, step mom to four grieving kids who lost their mom.  I had clearly heard God's call to take this new life on...and I charged forward with obedience...not expecting the pain and grief that would ensue with this new life he had called me to.  I was in God's will....without a doubt...but the water was not calm........I was the fish...swimming in warm water one minute and floundering in the air the next...could this be god's promise after obedience?   The challenges of a step mom are the hardest I have faced, throw grief and divorce on top of that and I was buried...... I was asked to do this in a new place..without the close comfort of my friends and church.

That's what brings me to today's writing...for those of you who are sad, dismayed, struggling, having a hard time breathing......there's hope.  I found myself outside with the book, Praying God's Word, by Beth Moore.  This is a book I read many times through my divorce and goes over topics with lists of scripture.  I found myself in the chapter about Overcoming Despair Resulting from Loss.  Here is the encouragement I found that I would like to share with you......

God CAN restore abundant life, but NOT if we form a stronghold after loss, which is the continued unwillingness or presumed inability to LET him do so!

Psalm 27:13-14 I would have despaired unless I believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.

Psalm 126 Those who sew in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.  He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of Joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

THAT'S ME!!  To and fro weeping...that's the fish...floundering in the air...constantly weeping whether I am to or fro!!!  But notice .....all the while carrying his bag of seed.  Carrying the bread and life that God has called you to carry, DOING in obedience even though weeping.....Doesn't that encourage you????  God's word continues to say that it will indeed come again with a SHOUT of joy!!!!

This passage is saying that as we cry and suffer...we are promised that we will be returned to joy as long as we continue to carry that bag of seed, trusting that God has called us to OUR story and that THROUGH our tears, he will faithfully bring us through!!! AMEN

Now does that mean that we should do everything with grumbling, no...that's why I felt convicted to write this post....it's the condition of our heart that God is interested in.  Don't use this verse as a license to grumble...but a grace filled hug that God understands our sorrow and calls us to simply trust HIM and "Just keep Swimming!"

So, I love how humorous God is because now when I am feeling defeated,  I will close my eyes and picture that God is swimming right next to me, just like Dori, singing "just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

Praying you find your way to joy today amidst the sewing of tears...it is God's promise.

Gratefulness amidst the Chaos

It's finished!  The room has been done for a couple months now...but I just now got it clean enough to show you on the blog! :)

 AND my fabric is all tagged and inventoried thanks to some special girls at Northview WL!

 This next picture I attribute to Jess Snell of Rockin B Design she has been instrumental in teaching me how to take my hobby to the next level of being a manufactured product.  I love you girl!  Thanks so much!

Here is a quick peek at some of the African fabrics we use in our bedding sets that you can find           HERE at www.twolittlefish.com

.....and I just couldn't resist adding my favorite Marilyn Monroe picture that I purchased when I first graduated.  I (used to) love to workout....and thought this was the coolest picture of Girl Power!  Of course, now that I have aged (some) and have six children, it is inappropriate to grace my entry way...but perfect for my little home in the basement!

This next picture is the most special...I have never had an older wise woman teach me her sewing skills.  I just adore older women that sew and LOVE the opportunity for them to teach me.  Steve lost his mom at age 11, but still has her sewing machine, her sewing box and the picture on the left was her manual....HOW COOL.  Her picture is on the right...even though I didn't get the opportunity for her to teach me, it has been really neat for Steve and I both to have a little bit of her presence in the room.

So....that's the finished product!  I have had a day of feeling so blessed...to be honest though, I had to take a break from the ministry over the holidays....mostly due to the schedule, but also due to the fact that I needed a respite.....It has been REALLY hard balancing this task that God has asked of me with making new friends, helping out at church, being a good wife...oh and of course the six kids.  But what God reveled to me in his timing, was that after the month of respite.....although I felt less tired and stressed....I also felt less fulfilled, less joy, less purpose.  I realized that God knew I would be bored with the regular.  Thus why he asked me to take on this task of creating a manufactured product line that would support local and global poverty...how else would I be able to saturate my children in a culture that is not ours?  How else would I be able to sufficiently show my children the reality of poverty around us and around the globe. What better way to show my children how to live a life dedicated to obedience and service to God than to show them by my own behavior!  God finally bestowed me with the wisdom that I am grateful for this opportunity and privileged that he asked this of me...yes it comes with more time management issues, more stress, more on my to do list...but I am GRATEFUL!

We have had a great year of preparation and we are getting so close to having a website with products up for SALE...  Please pray for god to continue to bring the right people to us for product brochures, web design and video production.  If you know of anyone who has skills in these areas that may be interested in doing some contract/free lance work can you comment under the Facebook feed.  It's gonna be soon peeps....at least we can say a definite launch of products in 2012! Hooray

The Infamous Proverbs 31 Woman

While talking through the logistics of how production of this ministry is going to work with some friends last night, I began to feel overwhelmed.  How in the world am I to keep up?  A wife, a mom....of a lot of kids, a friend, an involved member of the church, oh, and a ministry director/seamstress.  Does your list in life ever overwhelm you?  Mine does daily.  But, always, when we go to the word of god...what does he do?  He calms us, he tells us that we ARE enough, just to trust him.

This morning in my journal I was writing to God about my to do list.  How will I ever be able to keep up?  I asked for supernatural strength and still felt heavy with....But How God?  Then he reminded me of a situation in my life, actually many, where I have prayed with tears of anguish and given him a list of my "desires" for the remedy of the problem and he has continually followed through and given me an answer to prayer that is more than I could have even fathomed.  It is as if he is saying.  " I hear you Nicole, I've got this.  I hear your heart, just rest and watch me bring the answer"  And his responses are miraculous

SO, as I am feeling overwhelmed and as if this is impossible.  My devotion in Women of the Bible, by Ann Spangler, is on the woman of Proverbs 31.  Coincidence?  Never!  The opening line states "The woman of Proverbs 31 was a real pro at working with fabrics" AMEN Sister!  "She wove the Flax threads into linen for bed coverings"  Seriously....could it be more appropriate.  The author of the book explains that the women of the household spent virtually every spare moment on one part or another of the task of making fabrics.  The "wife of noble character" in Proverbs 31 works "with eager hands" (v13), and it seems as if the spindle and distaff never leave her fingers (v19).  That's why "she has no fear for her household"

                                   The Orange and Pink Dot fabrics are hand batiked from Ghana

Therefore, once again...God empowered me with the strength to keep on sewing :)  I am close to finishing my first crib set.  Sneak peek above.

God continues to amaze me...with the desires he sets in my heart and the ability to carry them out.  My ABSOLUTE favorite quote is

"God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called"

What is God calling you to do today?  HE WILL equip you.

Transition

Oh boy. That is a word that I have come to greatly dislike. Transition. If you are a member of Northview Church you just watched a sermon on "The Land Between". If not, I would highly suggest you go to their web page and download the feed  http://media.aspireone.com/mediaplayer/nvcl/? It spoke about life amidst the difficult transitions......death, divorce, moves, loss of a job, loss of relationship......the land between slavery and Egypt....The Promised land. What do we do with this time? What do we do with these hardships?

When you look at the Israelites and hear them grumbling and complaining about their trip OUT of slavery INTO God's perfect land for them...what do you think? Idiots? Well...I have been one of those idiots for a few months, stewing on what WAS provided for me amidst my slavery and just how different life had become now.

Let me say up front, that my husband is WONDERFUL........My Knight has finally arrived.  However, the transition out of my "home church" and my supporting friend and family structure has thrown me for a loop to say the least.

When God called me to be a part of The Roswarski's life in Lafayette, I heard him loud and clear. I followed in obedience and I haven't looked back. I don't regret my decision...ever. But what I wasn't prepared for was the aching I would feel in my heart with the loss of the everyday interaction with my Life Group.  The group pictured above is the definition of a Life Group. This is the epitome of what Northview strives for when we promote "Life Groups". Groups of people who gather around each other and live life together. We have experienced divorce, the loss of a job, loss of a grandparent, the loss of a newly born child, addiction, and marriage struggle...all TOGETHER. When I say that I love these people, that word is an understatement. The men in this picture have been very special in my life as well....they rallied around me like big brothers. The loss of the group and change in my church surroundings has been very real to me and sadly I was focused there for a couple months....but out of my self pity arises a God honoring perspective.

Few people have the privilege of experiencing the relationships that I have, and now I have the opportunity to model this type of life giving relationship and "life group" to those around me here at my new church campus in West Lafayette. I still have the gift of relationship with these people, it is just different. I have also been forced to look at my ability to handle my circumstances by running JUST to God. I know there is benefit in that, it's biblical. God gives us relationship and support systems to help us through struggle and to speak to us many times, but we always must hold him at the forefront of our refuge.

So, I say all this to get us thinking about perspective. I have been sad about the end of a chapter with one Life Group and I have been homesick for my "home church"....but in that waller of emotion....I could miss the following

I have NEW life here. I have little women and men that desperately need to be taught how to be followers of Christ amidst their pain. God has allowed all SIX of my children to attend a private Christian School where they will be raised in the presence of God DAILY!!!! He has put a vision on my heart for a ministry that uses my favorite passion. He has brought a new Life Group into my life, open and ready for relationship. He has given me the privilege to be a part of a growing campus here in West Lafayette.

My children are joyful. Our family is learning how to navigate this messy life while honoring God. I am learning how to remain calm in the mess. I have experienced some loss.....but for what? GAIN in the kingdom of God. Isn't that what God created our lives to be about? Jesus gave us the ultimate example of self-sacrifice. I will keep my old friends and I will make new ones. I will remember my old church home and I will relish in the fact that I still get to be a part of the Northview community that I so love here at the West Lafayette Campus. I will not yearn for my time in slavery because many aspects were comfortable, but I will know that God has a PERFECT plan and his words are true!

Pray for my continued ability to trust God and move forward, to embrace new relationships and venture into the world of running with a ministry idea as well as running a household of eight.

In Christ,

Mrs. Roswarski
(and yes, we are related to the mayor) LOL

In the Beginning

In the beginning there was God.  A simple desire changed the course of everything.  God wanted relationship.  So he breathed life into dust and created the human being.  From this one desire for relationship, an immense sea of relationships were formed.  One single thought, brought into existence and magnified by God's power.

That is our hope for this one simple thought God has set in our minds.

A meeting was scheduled with our West Lafayette Campus Pastor at Northview Church, Robbie Stewart.  My new husband and I discussed our passions and how that could be used to benefit God's kingdom.  My passion lies with micro-enterprise and global outreach, and my talents with sewing.  My husband owns his own company and knows how to start a business.  Robbie's passion is to employ the unemployed.  With these three minds set to honor the kingdom....he set the following idea into motion.

What if we use my sewing talent to help employ the women in Ghana?

The women in Ghana make gorgeous fabric called batik.  We could use this fabric and combine it with the current trends to make crib and twin bedding sets.  With each set purchased we could provide a mattress for a child in South Africa through a partnership with Horizon International (hopefully) :)  Steve of course starting speaking about the business logistics and Robbie spoke on how we could support our local homeless population.  We could have a core team of women that assisted me in design and production and we could train those in Lafayette Transitional Housing with core job skills.  Possibly even use this sewing ministry as a way to minister to struggling young women.

And then there was a verse......  Matthew 14:15-21, the feeding of five thousand men from five loaves of bread and TwoLittleFish.  From this small supply, God provided for Thousands!  That is our desire for this ministry and the ability for each family that purchases a piece of bedding to know that they have not just decorated their son or daughters room, but that they have provided for the KINGDOM!
 
So the phone calls began.....After countless hours of searching, God lead me to call one more company that utilized overseas textiles and try again at getting them to wholesale fabric.  I had already received a no when I called the first time as they sell items, not fabric.  This company just happened to be in Ghana where God had lead me with the GO Teams at Northview Carmel in March of 2010.  I got lucky enough to run my idea past one of the women that was the co-founder of the company this second phone call (there is no luck or coincidences....just God-incidences :) She agreed to have her local Ghanian women hand stamp and dye 250 yards of fabric for me to be picked up by our GO Team that was headed to Ghana in two weeks!!!!  Praise God, when he wants it to work, it simply falls in your lap.

Wayland Thompson, (who is a member at Northview Carmel and is on my Top Ten list for Outstanding Father and man after God's own heart :) lead the trip in March 2011 and collected all the fabric for me and assisted the team in bringing this fabric back to us.  Based on the following pictures, you can see why I am so excited.

In the months to follow, a sewing room was built by my wonderful hubby.....

God brought me in contact with a SUPER cool girl that knows the logistics of moving your home "projects" into the manufacturing stage.  She is UBER talented....check out her website  www.rockinbclothing.com  THANK YOU JESS!  Super excited to have you as a new friend.

and the most recent development in the story......an industrial sewing machine passed into my possession!

 But that one deserves a Blog Post all of it's own.  Next to come!!! My hope is that you will follow this blog and pray for our ministry.  We are in the beginning stages and my wonderful, entrepreneur husband wants to be sure we have all of our ducks in a row prior to advertising our goodies for sale :)  He is smart.

Cover us in Prayer!

In Christ,

Nicole